My (cynical) View on Dating

I have been a long-time single mom.  My children's father ended up being more like my teenage son than a father and partner.  I ended that relationship after almost 6 years.  He was my first serious relationship as an adult.  He abused my kids, lost custody of them and then fought me tooth and nail over child support.  In the end, I've received the equivalent of almost and year and half of my income in child support over 19 years; thank you Pennsylvania for being so supportive (sarcasm).  He got married and had four more children since he lost custody of mine.

I had a small dating stint for about six months after that.  He also was very distant and moody; not very into the instant family thing.  I broke it off.  He got married not too long after.

My last relationship lasted 9 years and 4.5 months.  It was great in the beginning, but later, he only came to see me about once a month.  Intimacy was non-existent.  He only panicked when I decided to move to Florida; said "if getting a ring would make you stay, I'll buy one." Talk about insulting.  He stayed as far away from committing to me as the west coast is from the east coast. 

He's getting married this spring to someone he met three months after I moved.  I guess I'm the female version of "Good Luck Chuck."

I tried the online dating thing.  All I found were men that wanted one-night-stands or just a f**k buddy. Even on a site that I paid to meet "my match."  What a joke. 

I've learned a few things in this foray into dating after 40.  One is, men like to be needed (I'm apparently too independent for them).  Two, men don't like women with health issues (I have plenty).  Three, men don't like overweight women (I'm only 70 pounds over, but that must be too much). Four, I smoke and that seems to be a real turn-off.  Five, they want perfect teeth (age and two pregnancies in two years have de-mineralized my teeth to where they are breaking and, when you're paying off braces for one kid and supporting a household, some things get pushed to the back burner).

I've not been on a dating website or actively looking for my "ever after" in over two years.  Yes, I get lonely.  But: I get the bed to myself, sleep when I want (working nights), watch what I want on TV and can pretty much do whatever I want, whenever I want.

There are plenty of obituaries out there showing the death of someone with no spouse (or children for that matter).  Just a point proving that there isn't someone for everyone.

I already don't match society's view of perfection on so many levels. Why not add one more?